I hate holidays. Everything about them makes me cringe. The people who use God as a reason to receive presents, and attend church twice a year on those days just to prove to the others that they too really care. The unrealistic lies parents create to tell their children a bunny really does sneak in and leave eggs. What's the point?
This Easter weekend I spent with my friend. We watched a variety of movies, and slept for more than the average human ever should. We both have sleeping problems, meaning that we typically don't sleep when we are supposed to, but hey, I guess that just means we always have at least one person to talk to at four in the morning whenever we need something. Either way, she was sick this weekend, and I tried my best to take care of her. That was my Easter weekend up until about two o clock this afternoon, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
At two o clock, I received a call from my mother while my friend was sleeping soundly on the floor. She and my dad have been fighting recently about things I really don't understand, and sadly, don't really care about. I was home for maybe ten minutes from Friday until today, when I noticed my mom has a very large bruise under her right eye. She hasn't tried to give an explanation, which is difficult for me to really interpret. She called and asked me what I was doing. I said we were watching movies, which apparently was too farfetched for her to fully grasp and she began the entire interrogation process of her current theory about me being on drugs. She used to check my nostrils and stuff all the time, but then I guess for a while I was staying at home and everything was fine.
Not anymore.
I guess the thing I really have problems with, are the fact that I am so different from everyone else in my family. I know they are my family, but why should that really require me to spend countless hours ruining their time. I have yet to have a birthday or holiday when none of us have cried, and nearly every single time I am the one to blame.
Sure my mom thinks I’m on drugs, my brother annoys everyone, and my parents can’t get along or agree on anything, but I’ve come to the conclusion that they are honestly so much happier without me. When I’m away, so is the conflict. Maybe in two years, everyone’s stress will go down. The endless disagreeing might be put to rest, simply because I won’t be around enough to care.
I suppose holidays are simply an excuse for people to get together and pretend they really like each other. But what I guess my question is why I would go home and be miserable, and ruin everyone else's day, when I could just watch movies and hang out with someone I truly enjoy being with.
It’s really not them, it’s me. I’m just not the same, and I think that truly scares us all.
This Easter weekend I spent with my friend. We watched a variety of movies, and slept for more than the average human ever should. We both have sleeping problems, meaning that we typically don't sleep when we are supposed to, but hey, I guess that just means we always have at least one person to talk to at four in the morning whenever we need something. Either way, she was sick this weekend, and I tried my best to take care of her. That was my Easter weekend up until about two o clock this afternoon, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
At two o clock, I received a call from my mother while my friend was sleeping soundly on the floor. She and my dad have been fighting recently about things I really don't understand, and sadly, don't really care about. I was home for maybe ten minutes from Friday until today, when I noticed my mom has a very large bruise under her right eye. She hasn't tried to give an explanation, which is difficult for me to really interpret. She called and asked me what I was doing. I said we were watching movies, which apparently was too farfetched for her to fully grasp and she began the entire interrogation process of her current theory about me being on drugs. She used to check my nostrils and stuff all the time, but then I guess for a while I was staying at home and everything was fine.
Not anymore.
I guess the thing I really have problems with, are the fact that I am so different from everyone else in my family. I know they are my family, but why should that really require me to spend countless hours ruining their time. I have yet to have a birthday or holiday when none of us have cried, and nearly every single time I am the one to blame.
Sure my mom thinks I’m on drugs, my brother annoys everyone, and my parents can’t get along or agree on anything, but I’ve come to the conclusion that they are honestly so much happier without me. When I’m away, so is the conflict. Maybe in two years, everyone’s stress will go down. The endless disagreeing might be put to rest, simply because I won’t be around enough to care.
I suppose holidays are simply an excuse for people to get together and pretend they really like each other. But what I guess my question is why I would go home and be miserable, and ruin everyone else's day, when I could just watch movies and hang out with someone I truly enjoy being with.
It’s really not them, it’s me. I’m just not the same, and I think that truly scares us all.
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