Today is my last day...Well my last day of being fifteen years old that is. The only thing I can seem to do is reflect on my year. After all, it was kind of my "life-changing" year I would have to say.
I remember my fifteenth birthday quite vividly. I started my first job. At three o clock, I went in and began what would later become a major aspect of my life. I remember I was quite ready for something new, and I know my family was just glad to see me leave the house.
Allow me tell you a story. When I was fourteen years old I was dumb enough to fall into the trap of young “love.” In reality, I loved the idea of love, and the idea of being needed. On April 1st, after one year exactly of this “love,” it ended, for reasons I really couldn’t control. I took everything out on myself, and developed extreme trust issues. I became severely depressed, and wasn’t able to hardly function. My grades slipped, my health slipped, and my mind slipped beyond anything I ever knew possible. I began to sleep all day as soon as I got home, and ate hardly anything for nearly eight weeks. At this same moment in time, I lost all of my friends, due to stupid reasons I still don’t fully understand. So this takes me to almost June.
By June I was over it. I spent my entire summer working every morning from nearly 6:00 am to 10:00 am and then again from 4:00 pm to 9:00 pm. Needless to say doing this four times a week, I made quite a bit of money which I didn’t allow myself to use until September. Through my job I met a lot of new people. People my age, who I instantly became great friends with, playing golf after work, and teaching the children how to swing every morning.
Then there were the old friends, the ones who were actually older than sixty. I helped them out with the computers, and they thought I was an absolute genius. I felt important, actually being able to help someone for once, not needing the help myself. So this went on all summer. I submerged myself with hours, and following that, money. Around August, it started slowing down, and I started my sophomore year of high school. During this period of time, from August to October, I had one specific best friend. I didn’t do a whole lot to be honest. I hung out with my golf team on occasion, but I was kind of still trying to figure everything out.
Then we move on to November. By this time, school was going well enough and I was overall content. Then I met a new friend. It started with some humorous text conversation. Then a simple video I made as somewhat of a joke. At that time, I didn’t realize what exactly that might grow into.
Lets move on to December. Over Christmas break, I spent almost every day with my new friend. I spent the night nearly every weekend, and we developed a real friendship. My family was having a difficult time, and I was just sort of staying away. Over Christmas break, two more people flew into Indianapolis, friends of my friend, and I met them as well. It was probably one of the happiest overall weeks of my entire life. We planned something extraordinary, and it made me feel better than I had ever before, I thought I would finally be finding some sort of purpose.
Then came January. January is kind of a blur to me. It went rather quickly, which it normally doesn’t do, however I guess I’m glad it did. I developed a new hobby of going to wrestling meets, which I then began to enjoy tremendously. I spent every weekend of January and February at some funny high school, watching wrestling and finding the nearest Coldstone to get some Birthday Cake Remix. Then Sunday was typically movie marathon day. This year I not only watched all of the winners and best picture nominees, but every Oscar movie up for an award. Also around this time I stopped drinking carbonation, which to this day I still haven’t picked back up.
Towards February, I had a sort of identity crisis. I became someone that maybe I wanted to be, simply because the new lifestyle I had grown into was better than my own. I went a bit too far, and unintentionally became someone I was indeed not. I went through a rough patch, a day by day lifestyle. Sometimes I was extremely depressed, simply because I knew what I had brought upon myself, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Big plans had been cancelled, and I felt a little helpless
This brings me to last month, March. I think I eventually figured it out, I was a new person, but I had become me. I had established my true opinion, my style if you will. I had begun to realize what I truly stood for, and what I liked and didn’t like, without other personal influences. Sure I shared interests with other people, but that’s the kind of interaction that creates friends. During this past month, old ideas were brought up again, I was able to be involved without being obsessive, something I struggled so desperately with before. Different subjects talked about that gave me hope, hopefully not a false hope, but hope for something to look forward to. On the last day of March, I took a trip to Fl. Originally I was planning on driving to Fl with my friend, but due to a situation with my mother, I was unable to go, assuming I wanted to go anywhere else in the near future.
Over the trip, I think I found out a lot about myself. Over the week, I felt like I was truly a friend. I felt as if my opinion actually mattered in something. I felt like someone came to me, for once, and that made me extremely satisfied. I think I finally know who my best friends are. We are a strange group, that’s for sure, but I think it’s finally been established in my mind. It’s funny how when you are away and only around the people you are supposed to love, you realize the few that you truly love.
So today is my last day being fifteen years old. I think this past year has been the most influential one yet. My year being fifteen has morphed me into the person I hope to be for the rest of my life...or at least until i turn a new age.
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